Wrongtown

A couple of butt-tastic entries for you. Yes, it has been a while. I didn’t hear anyone whinging though!

Heavy Metal “lovers” those crazy Austrians. Hahahaha.

Water Butt. Enough said.

Japanese music industry plan to make all phones run DRM, to check your right to play a song every time you play it.

A tour of the Taser factory. :)) Don’t taze me bro!!!!!

Arizona adjusts a traffic light so that the yellow only lasts 3 seconds instead of 4.3 to catch more red light runners.

China to ban or cut rare metal exports for rare metals that are only produced by them. And I am all out of yttrium as well.

Theives using Google Earth to spot ponds to steal Koi carp.

You heard me!

Sperm facial anyone? It seems some people have synthesized a substance found in human sperm to rub on their face, it decreases wrinkles apparently. At US$250, I am sitting on a gold mine. To think I have been offering this service for free. ;-))

Your mum likes it anyway.

What can I say, it seems other countries are trying to get in on the WTF action that Mackay was claiming the crown via my last post. Is this a copy cat home invasion???

Yes, two today. This little cracker is what makes Australia so great. I little Clockwork Orange derivative but still….

It seems someone mistakenly took the internet blog world as a place of kindly helpful people instead of a place full of gleefully malicious and vicious souless individuals. Rookie mistake.

Phrase of the Week

Palm me a dead one: meaning to pass off a less than perfect item, either physical or metaphorical, as though it were good.

Example 1: I asked a mate to loan me a lighter but he palmed me a dead one. (Meaning the lighter didn’t work)

The phrase has been bastardised to be used in circumstances with similar meanings to the original.

Example 2: My housemate said her friend would show me a good time but it turned out she was trying to palm me a dead one. (In this case it means the opposite of a “live one”, that is, the friend was boring or dull)

Example 3: The salesman said the DVD would play on all players but he had palmed me a dead one. (meaning that the DVD wouldn’t play or was blank)

Example 4: I asked my roommate to grab me some milk for my coffee but she palmed me a dead one. (Meaning the carton/bottle was empty or out of date)

The phrase is not to be mistaken for any similar phrases use in the United States relating to slipping someone a bribe.  That is palming someone a “dead president”, referring to the faces of dead presidents on the notes.

Whether it be bulbs, pipes, lighters, DVDs, food etc friends don’t palm friends dead ones. Ever!

Some guy in the UK has died after eating chilli. Wrongtown thinks he took the easy option. Kidding, jees, some people have no sense of humour. Watch out for those chillis people, worse than ninjas. They get you from the inside “where it counts”. If they don’t kill you then you look forward to days of ass fire.

We start a new column on the WrongTown blog today. Dear Annabelle will look to handle some of the big hitting issues faced by WrongTown residents trying to come to terms with the harse reality of every day life in Wrong Town. Our thanks to Annabelle for lending her professional opinions and advice and trying to help the downtrodden.

Dear Annabelle,
I was on the crack pipe last week and found that I had some foreign substance burned on my pipe making yucky tasting smoke. I was trying to clean it out without losing the last of my precious crack when my boyfriend walks in and catches me. He says that he won’t have a crack whore in his house, it is him or the pipe and that I would have to decide. You can see my dilemma, what do I do?
sincerely
Anguished and Desperate.

Annabelle writes…..

Dear Anguished and Desperate,
I can certainly see your dilemma and I think we all feel your pain in some way. What to do? Crack is becoming increasing hard to come by and that last bit is always the best. I think if you can try to dislodge the majority of the offending material without scratching the glass is the best you can do. Once the pipe is empty try cleaning with ethanol and then a high temperature forced gas lighter. It is a shame that during this heartbreaking time your boyfriend has decided to be such an asshole. Nothing a few points won’t fix.
Happy whoring.
Annabelle

All of it, Only one thing will get that taste out, Pomelo, Skimmed.
You know what I mean.